A Block of Cheese

Today is February 1st. I’m supposed to spend only $200 this month – to hell with that. I sat looking at my 5kg sack of rice this evening and said fuck it. So I went to Thriftys and bought some beautiful vegetables and fruits, some deli meat and a big block of cheese. Not that I couldn’t have survived, and I could have easily done it without sacrificing my health. But what the hell, I’m pretty lazy and cooking on a budget isn’t exactly fun. Excuses, excuses – what a weight off the shoulders. Maybe I’ll still try to trim the expenses this month – namely less meals out.

I only finished 21/31 blog posts for January, or roughly two thirds of the challenge. I wonder, is it better to complete 67 percent of everything you set out to do, or complete 100 percent of 67 percent of your goals. My initial gut reaction tells me the latter is better. Finish what you start, and if you won’t finish, then don’t start. But that second part of the sentence doesn’t quite sit right either. So if you won’t finish your goal, don’t even bother starting? That’s kind of shitty. Maybe its an average that I should be shooting for. So if I complete 2/3rds of my January challenge and none of my February challenge, I’m averaging a 1/3 completion rate. What would be a good completion rate? I guess its all relative to how difficult the goal is. If I set a goal of waking up every morning before noon then I’ll have some pretty spectacular completion rates. February is just a set back. I will persevere!

This doesn’t bode well for those poor physically challenged kids and the lonely seniors.

True Fiction

Richard sat on the long side of the cold hard table with a low hanging, bare light bulb overhead. The room was otherwise dare, and the yellowing light from the bulb cast a shadow of the muff on his head onto the table in front of him. The light lit the faces of the detectives on either end of the table. He stared at the shadow his hair cast. Maybe he should have gotten the haircut? He had a calm, thoughtful expression on his face – like it was the first time he’s had a chance to really collect his thoughts in a really long time. He looked exhausted, dark shadowy bags under his eyes.

The detectives sat quietly, watching Richard push his thumb into the crumbs on his plate and licking them off. He had insisted on a snack, and now he moved slowly and deliberately. They had a hard time reading him. He just sat there and so they sat there – trying to be patient. But the fat detective wasn’t comfortable in his seat and alternated between shuffling backwards and then sliding forwards again in the wood chair. Now and again he’d reach down and pinch at his balls, giving his scrotum a good tug through his clothes in order to keep things in order. If he could, he wouldn’t wear pants at all. In fact, if this man was created a little less motivated he could have defined the word ‘slob’. But he did slightly better than that. His round face was shaved and he had a clean shirt on. His shirt probably didn’t smell nice anymore, but it had obviously been clean when he put it on that morning.

“You were telling us about the day you met Germaine.” The second detective broke Richard from his train of thought. His voice startled both Richard and the fat detective.

The 20th Post

Wow, time flies. Here I am, a few days from the end of the month and I’m writing my 20th blog post. Actually its my 19th this month, but I’m including the first post, that I wrote in March last year with good intentions, but without a measurable goal to work towards. This month I am supposed to write a post every day. Early on I realized that I should adjust that to an average of a post a day. Right now I’m averaging .714 posts per day, including this post (and assuming that this is my only post of the day – which it hopefully won’t be since I’m so far behind). Does that number ring any bells? It happens to be exactly one-tenth of my daily living allowance next month, $7.14! Coincidence? Or some sign I need to see? If only this was my 200th blog post of the month then it would be a perfect and complete mind-fucker, excuse my language.

It took me a minute...

Little Brown Boy

Here is another scrap of a poem that I think I started writing for Christmas to Kevin and Nada.

“Kevin and Nada!”
yelled the little brown boy.
He ran up behind them,
his hand held a toy.

“It’s Christmas Nada!”
yelled the little brown boy,
“It’s Christmas Kevin!”
said the boy with the toy.

“You’re going to be late!”
said the little brown boy.
“Everyone’s waiting!”
screeched the boy with such joy.

“We can take my horse Nada”
said Kev with a start.
“Just hang on to his horn,
he’s actually a unicorn.”

So into the sky,
on the back of a horse

And again, I got distracted by something and thats where it ends. Merry Christmas!

These face paintings are worth checking out.

Pineapple head

Rocket Ships and Dragons Part 2

Out of curiosity I wanted to see if my blog has been indexed yet by Google, and it has. If you search ‘rocket ships and dragons’ in Google, my post by the same name (rocket ships and dragons) ranks 3rd. Obviously there isn’t a heck of a lot of content on the internet related to rocket ships AND dragons. I’m guessing there isn’t a lot of demand either. But what I did find interesting was the first result that Google returned. Its a poem called Rocket Ships and Dragons and appears in a forum dedicated to Attention Deficit Disorder. How appropriate! What’s more, the poster’s avatar is Hobbes, from Calvin and Hobbes. Eerie. I’ll share the poem here;

The boy sits in his small school desk tapping,
a rolling of all fingers,
a drumming-marching-rolling motion,
in beat to an imaginary army.
He squirms in his chair.
The teacher’s voice drones on as the boy
daydreams to the moon and back,
visions of little Jackie Paper and his pal Puff,
on billowed wings. . . and other fancy stuff
dance in his head . . . .

“Jamie! . . . . .Jamie, Are you listening?”
“What . . . . Yes Mrs. Jones.”
“Oh . . . . the answer is eight. . . . four plus two is
eight.”
“Yes. . . . . I will pay attention next time”

A ratta-tat-tat-tapping again,
a wiggling-jiggling-shaking, his leg’s
in motion as the teachers voice
fades into the sound of the rocket blasting
off. . . . blasting off to a day-dreamy
journey to the moon. . . .

By James

Oh, and I’ll bet this post will solidify a top rank for me for ‘rocket ships and dragons’. I can’t wait for my first organic search traffic!

Raising 10k

Thats no easy task and I’m glad I have a few months to come up with some sort of plan.  Here are some of the ideas I have to date, I’m hoping others have some ideas too.  In case you need a refresher – here’s my plan for the year.  It includes raising $10,000 (or $5,000) for a local charity in May.

1. In June I will be painting a mural on the side of a Nanaimo building.  I don’t know which building and I don’t know what it will be.  What if I come up with 3-5 different mural designs loosely related to the charity in question, and auction the mural to the highest business bidder in the city?  The costs would come out of my pocket, and of course I would have to find a willing canvas.  Maybe try to drum up a little publicity for it.  Estimated proceeds; $2,000-5,000?
2. I saw a country club that offers its space to non-profits for fundraising efforts.  They provide the meals at $15/person, and up to 100 tickets can be sold for $25 each ($10 profit).  The fundraiser takes bar proceeds as well.  Maybe this could be combined with the announcement for the mural bidder?  Combining it would bring local business owners to the event and help fill seats.  But normally there is some sort of attraction related to a fundraiser – some reason for going besides the dinner.  I’ll have to give that some thought.  Estimated proceeds; $1,00o.
3. ???

Of course I still have to figure out which charity to support.  Looking for any suggestions on that too.

I Don’t Give a Damn

hahahahahhaha!!!! We're having fun!

I’ve often thought it would be nice to give back to the community in some way.  I always find it inspiring to see people who are so passionate about helping people and it would be nice to help them do that if I can, even if its just for a month.  Sure, it would be nice if I could offer my help a little more consistently, but I’ve got some form of ADD and after a month I’m not sure I’ll give a damn about some lonely old pensioner.  Ha, now that’s not true, but intentions and actions often don’t align over the long-term.  So, as part of my monthly challenges I’ve decided to spend one month giving my time (March), and one month raising money for a specific local charity (May).  It’s the May challenge that is causing me a little grief because its a lot easier to give away my time than it is to ask people for their money, even if it is for a good cause.  After all, there are so many really good ways to spend your money (both charitably or otherwise).  But I have some ideas I’m working on that might help.

What I need to figure out soon is which charity to invest my energy in.  I would like it to be a local charity, and preferably something that the government doesn’t support.  For example, I know the food bank is a very worthy cause, but at the same time (and please correct me if I’m wrong), the government provides basic support to those that need it.  Obviously people get into situations in their lives where they do really struggle to put food on the table, but I think those can be temporary situations because there is a government social net that should catch people that are in need (am I totally wrong on this?).  I understand that there are people who have difficulty helping themselves and jumping through the bureaucracy for any number of reasons (including addiction and mental illness), but that’s a different issue altogether.

I think I would like to help an organization that helps kids who don’t get a fair start because of their circumstances.  Maybe a group that provides support, activities, or something similar that lets kids be kids, helps with self-confidence and inspires imagination.  I think the money could have a big impact with kids, but I’m not sure how.  Does anyone know of a local group like that?  Any suggestions?

Hitchin’ a Ride

I hitch hiked down to Victoria this weekend to look at sailboats and pick up a friends car for them as a favour.  I used to hitch hike everywhere.  In high-school I figured out that if I hitched to school I could sleep in a half hour later, instead of getting up for the bus.  At the worst, I would show up a little late.  When I went to Malaspina and had a car, I would drive to the highway, park, and hitch in from there because I realized that the same people were commuting at the same time every week and getting rides was easy.  When I lived in Victoria I would hitch up-island to go home for the weekend.  In Japan I would hitch-hike when I had to work in other cities because I could still claim the train expense that they reimbursed us for.  As a conservative rule of thumb, I plan for hitching to take time and a half the length it would take to drive yourself.  So an 1h40min drive from Nanaimo to Victoria should take me about 2h30min.  Yesterday it took about 2h05min to ride my bike to the highway and catch 3 rides to Victoria.  The final driver took me right to where I was going.  The first driver liked fishing and knew a bit about sailing.  The second was a real funny guy who bitched about bad tenants and for some reason thought Calgary was a cool city.  The last ride was a DJ that did multi-level marketing.  He wasn’t too salesy though and, although out of his way, took me to go where I was going.

I’ve never had a really bad experience hitch hiking.  Once a guy turned his stereo up so loud I had to plug my ears.  And another guy picked me up in his RV and told me he taught street kids how to count cards at casinos and asked if I wanted to go to Vegas and learn.  He was weird in the funny way, not the creepy way.  Another guy picked me up when he was loaded and asked me to drive.  He had gotten in a fight with his wife and was going to Edmonton to get a hooker.  He kept saying I was his guardian angel.  One guy picked me up and asked me to drive, while he went for a nap in the bed of his truck.  I had a woman stuff my greasy bike into the leather back seats of her convertible.  I’ve known a couple girls that hitched and had scary situations though – that’s too bad.

I think more people should hitch hike, and more people should pick up hitch hikers.  Unless you’re a single female, its pretty much harmless if you have any reasonably quick character judgement; the biggest risk is bad conversation.  In many places (the British Virgin Islands for example), its a well-accepted way to get around.  Everyone does it and I think it actually strengthens the sense of community.  After all, we’re all going in the same direction.



Go on, pick that nice guy up.

Lance a Lot; A Story of Murder?

Digging through another notebook I found this story I started writing a while ago in rhyming limerick.  I think its fun.  I wonder how annoying an entire story would be to read.  It might be more tolerable with pictures, like in a picture book.  Photographs might be cool.  Anyhow, here it is.   Bold text will be Doug, black is Doug’s thoughts and the narrator, Blue will be Lance, and Red will be Liz.

I’m minding my own biz
walking down the street.
A tune in my head,
skips at the pace of my feet.

Then this happens all the time;
A passing glance,
‘Oh shit, I know that guy.’
That’s right, its Lance.

I hate Lance.
I pretend not to.
I smile and chit chat,
But Lance I hate you!

“Oh hey Lance,
how’s it going?”
“Good, how about you?”
“Good, good, how’s it going?”

Damn I hate that,
Its not awkward enough?
You already asked that.
Social situations are tough.

“Good thanks.
So how did you do on that paper?”
“Not too great.
But I’ll bet you aced it.”

Oh you’re so smart!
We all envy you!
You just want me to ask,
‘And how did you do?’!

“Yeah, I did alright,
I probably shouldn’t say,
I’m arguing the mark,
Could go either way.”

Who is this guy?
Who is he kidding?
It’s part of his character,
Totally fitting.

“Actually I got an ‘A’,
but I’m not really happy.
It should an A plus,
or so says my Uncle Chappy.”

“Mmm-hmmm.”

“He’s a lawyer you know.
Practically runs the school.
He sits on the board.
Yeah, he’s pretty cool.”

Now I should nod?
Does it look like I care?
How long’ll this take?
“Yeah, that’s really not fair.”

“Well I should be going.
I’m meeting someone.”
“Well I’ve got time to kill,
maybe I’ll come just for fun.”

“Yeah, that might not work out,
my friend is not well.
He might have got cancer.
It’s too early to tell.”

“My dog died of cancer.
How tragic is that?
I’d much more preferred it,
if it had got my Mom’s cat.”

“That’s tragic indeed.
Must have made you quite blue.”
But the real tragedy,
Is that it didn’t get you.

Oh just my luck.
Look who it is.
“Hey check it out,
here comes big-tits-Liz.”

“Hey Liz, what’s up babe?”
“Hey Lance, hey Doug.”
This is quite awkward.
“Common boys, give a girl a hug!”

Liz is a girl.
She was Doug’s first.
She took his virginity,
she’d end up his worst.

Oh Liz, oh Doug.
What fond times they’ve had.
When good relationships fail,
the emotional destruction’s so sad.

Annoying as hell,
a laugh that would grate.
Lazy and slow,
a questionable mate.

She’s well over-weight.
But then so’s her chest.
With boobs made so big,
he over-looked the rest.

“So Liz where you off to?
We were just on our way.
To meet a cancerous friend.
You know, brighten his day.”

Whoa, whoa, what’s going on?
“No, not to be rude,
I’d rather do this alone.”

Thats as far as I got.

Weather

Weather must be the common ground we have as humans.  I can’t think of anything as universally appealing as the weather.  Our health?  No way – he’s fat and she smokes and people die – tons of controversy.   Politics or living in a democracy?  Obviously not.   Ok, so what about something safe like fruit.  I think we can all share fruit as common ground and can’t possibly be offended by it.  Of course you may prefer bananas over peaches or even hate blackberries, but honestly nobody really cares.  But start talking about weather, and you’ll get a pretty positive response from anyone.  No matter who you are, what your lifestyle is, or where you live we all seem to care a lot about the weather.  I guess its because it affects everyone equally?  Water affects us all equally, but we don’t care to talk about it.   It must be the variety that makes weather so interesting.  I should have been a meteorologist.  I have a friend who’s a meteorologist *ahem, G* and he’s an excellent conversationalist.  Check out the long term forecast:

Its going to be a good week next week!