Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

A Block of Cheese

Today is February 1st. I’m supposed to spend only $200 this month – to hell with that. I sat looking at my 5kg sack of rice this evening and said fuck it. So I went to Thriftys and bought some beautiful vegetables and fruits, some deli meat and a big block of cheese. Not that I couldn’t have survived, and I could have easily done it without sacrificing my health. But what the hell, I’m pretty lazy and cooking on a budget isn’t exactly fun. Excuses, excuses – what a weight off the shoulders. Maybe I’ll still try to trim the expenses this month – namely less meals out.

I only finished 21/31 blog posts for January, or roughly two thirds of the challenge. I wonder, is it better to complete 67 percent of everything you set out to do, or complete 100 percent of 67 percent of your goals. My initial gut reaction tells me the latter is better. Finish what you start, and if you won’t finish, then don’t start. But that second part of the sentence doesn’t quite sit right either. So if you won’t finish your goal, don’t even bother starting? That’s kind of shitty. Maybe its an average that I should be shooting for. So if I complete 2/3rds of my January challenge and none of my February challenge, I’m averaging a 1/3 completion rate. What would be a good completion rate? I guess its all relative to how difficult the goal is. If I set a goal of waking up every morning before noon then I’ll have some pretty spectacular completion rates. February is just a set back. I will persevere!

This doesn’t bode well for those poor physically challenged kids and the lonely seniors.

True Fiction

Richard sat on the long side of the cold hard table with a low hanging, bare light bulb overhead. The room was otherwise dare, and the yellowing light from the bulb cast a shadow of the muff on his head onto the table in front of him. The light lit the faces of the detectives on either end of the table. He stared at the shadow his hair cast. Maybe he should have gotten the haircut? He had a calm, thoughtful expression on his face – like it was the first time he’s had a chance to really collect his thoughts in a really long time. He looked exhausted, dark shadowy bags under his eyes.

The detectives sat quietly, watching Richard push his thumb into the crumbs on his plate and licking them off. He had insisted on a snack, and now he moved slowly and deliberately. They had a hard time reading him. He just sat there and so they sat there – trying to be patient. But the fat detective wasn’t comfortable in his seat and alternated between shuffling backwards and then sliding forwards again in the wood chair. Now and again he’d reach down and pinch at his balls, giving his scrotum a good tug through his clothes in order to keep things in order. If he could, he wouldn’t wear pants at all. In fact, if this man was created a little less motivated he could have defined the word ‘slob’. But he did slightly better than that. His round face was shaved and he had a clean shirt on. His shirt probably didn’t smell nice anymore, but it had obviously been clean when he put it on that morning.

“You were telling us about the day you met Germaine.” The second detective broke Richard from his train of thought. His voice startled both Richard and the fat detective.

The 20th Post

Wow, time flies. Here I am, a few days from the end of the month and I’m writing my 20th blog post. Actually its my 19th this month, but I’m including the first post, that I wrote in March last year with good intentions, but without a measurable goal to work towards. This month I am supposed to write a post every day. Early on I realized that I should adjust that to an average of a post a day. Right now I’m averaging .714 posts per day, including this post (and assuming that this is my only post of the day – which it hopefully won’t be since I’m so far behind). Does that number ring any bells? It happens to be exactly one-tenth of my daily living allowance next month, $7.14! Coincidence? Or some sign I need to see? If only this was my 200th blog post of the month then it would be a perfect and complete mind-fucker, excuse my language.

It took me a minute...

Getting shit done.

My blog goes public today. So welcome, your time is valuable and I’m sure this will be a waste it. I was supposed to blog every day this month and I’m playing catch up. I’m a couple weeks into a New Year’s resolution to get shit done. All those little things that I think would be fun to challenge myself with. Starting out with the January challenge of writing this blog is my way of journaling the process. And there’s an opportunity to learn from this along the way too. It’s actually my first domain, and having a website sounds so much cooler than having a blog. If you want details of how my year will look, check out this early post that will provide an outline. In August I’m only going to eat locally (very locally) and in November I’m going to finally write that book I’ve been meaning to do. We’ll see how well this goes. So far I’m behind and am trying to spit out garbage posts as quick as I can but even shitty posts take time.

I took this photo in a thrift shop in Berlin and was never sure if I would ever get to share it. I almost bought the thing, but couldn't justify the 13 Euros.

Rocket ships and Dragons

Rocket ships and dragons have a few things in common. They both breathe fire, they inspire thoughts of adventure and fantasy, and they have complicated mechanisms that I don’t understand. I’d like to see a dragon pilot a rocket ship; I think he’d be frustrated by it though because the cockpit would probably be designed for humans. Another day done! Blogging is easy!

My photoshop skills. Art credit below.

Cool art by this guy. I just realized that dragons and rocket ships also both fly.

The $200 Month

Next month is my $200 month. If it was summer and I had a sublet I’d consider cancelling the phone and doing a truly $200 month, buuuut it will have to do as is. So for February I will spend no more than $200 on food, transportation, and entertainment. It happens to be the shortest day of the year, which obviously helps. That’s $7.14 a day. I think its really doable and will just take a little planning – like remembering to pack a lunch when I go out. A healthy breakfast will be about a dollar, lunch for a buck and a half, and a simple but healthy dinner for three dollars. That leaves me a dollar for some fruit and snacks, and $1.25 for entertainment. I guess I’ll be going to the arcade a lot. I could afford a 6-pack of beer every week if I remember to bring the empties back. But I don’t want it to affect my life too much.  I can still do most of my favourite things.  I just don’t recommend anyone invite me to a potluck in February, unless you like oatmeal.

Tic toxic

I don’t know why tic toxic.  I meant to write tic toc.  Time is running out; it’s midnight and I have to go to bed.  But I should post something because that what I’m supposed to do.  I’m holding myself accountable, which is something I couldn’t do the other days this week.  But but but but but….whatever, I wish I had something funny to say.  I’m going snow camping again on the weekend – that’s good but not funny. An ode to my dad:

How many clams could fit in Hans’ hands,
If Hans’ clammy hands held clams.

That’s my best answer to Calvin’s:

How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?

Calvin and Hobbes

A classic.